[wʌɪld ˈwʊmən] adjective
Within every woman, there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.
(Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves)
MY MOST AUTHENTIC SELF
Having come from the glitz, glamour and unspoken darkness of the creative film and fashion industries, I stand before you as someone who gets it. Someone, who once spent her time bullshitting her way through life, exaggerating her successes and, although it may not have seemed like it at the time, had such a low self-worth that she didn’t see the point in even trying. But not any more.
I am now on a mission to help anyone that is feeling rudderless in the massive ocean of life. To empower them to ride the wave, take in the views, and enjoy the experience, rather than be dragged along, beaten and bewildered, by the current. NO one should feel like they are being rushed through a life that they, truthfully, don't want.
From the outside my life was great, but every day was a charade, a farce. I was expected to be happy, so I was happy. I was expected to be cool, so I tried to be cool. I was expected to be easy-going, so I tried to be easygoing. But in reality, I was a hot mess. I was so completely and utterly lost. I felt like I had absolutely no purpose whatsoever. I didn't have the faintest idea of what I wanted to actually do with my life, so I just drifted along. I was riddled with guilt at having let my family and myself down. Honestly, I was just a ticking time-bomb of anxiety just waiting to explode. Add to this glorious concoction a serious addiction to cocaine and alcohol and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster.
Now, rest assured, it was not always easy, some times were harder than others, it was emotional as hell, and it certainly didn't happen overnight. Day after day it became slightly easier. Until, one morning, I looked in the mirror and was actually proud of who I saw. Yep, you heard me - PROUD. I loved myself, I loved who I had become, what I had allowed to rise to the surface instead of hiding it, as I had done for years. I was the truest most authentic version of myself. I was, a wild woman.
Don't get me wrong, I still have days where the fear bubbles up and the anxiety runs rampant through my mind, but they are few and far between, and, as strange as this might sound I now take pleasure in these feelings. I allow them to show up, I embrace them and remind myself that they are not as toxic as I once thought. I can now recognise what these feelings are telling me. I thank them and I move on, and every day I feel more invigorated than the day before.
Today, I share my story, my knowledge and my experiences with others with the aim to help them discover the truest versions of themselves.